When I started on this journey just over a year ago, I honestly had no idea where it would take me. I had a vision, if that, because I hadn't completely fleshed it out. I wanted to continue styling spaces but I didn't want to be a visual merchandiser anymore. I wanted something more meaningful and purpuseful; not that I was trying to save the world, but I wanted to really feel connected to what I was doing. I contemplated going back to complete my architecture degree... but I knew in my heart of hearts, I still didn't want to be an architect; at least not in the traditional sense of what I knew an architect to be. So then I considered interior design but I honestly had no real grasp of what "interior design" was because for years I'd seen the title used in so many different ways. What exactly did an interior designer do? And how? I had no idea how I fit into all of this because I didn't really fit into any of it. I just knew whatever it is I was going to do, I wasn't going to get there by working for someone else and trying to climb up someone else's ladder.
During this time of self evaluation, I had become a new mom, a new wife, and a new student. It was an exciting time but also a very overwhelming time; so I needed a shortcut. I started looking at what other designers and entrepreneurs were doing and how there were doing it.
Fun Fact: you can't copy and paste life.
Instead of getting inspired by people who I should be considering my peers, I was getting a bad case anxiety and envy. I started taking on freelance projects and it felt good, like I was on the right track design wise; but it still didn't feel authentic and I still felt anxious and uneasy. After a months of this, I felt burnt out -- physically and emotionally -- and hadn't made any real progress, at least not for me.
PLOT TWIST -- After months of being away on active duty, my husband came home & I now had to prepare for a cross country from New York to Washington. Saying, "it was the best of times; it was the worst of times," would be putting it mildly -- after a very quick move, I was now in a new city, my newborn was now a very active toddler, my husband was getting ready to start a new job, and I was honestly just trying to keep it all together. I made the very difficult choice to take a step back from designing to really assess what I was doing, why, and how.
During my hiatus, I realized the way I was doing things wasn't for me because it wasn't me. I was trying to fit into everyone else's mold -- a mold that may very well had worked for others but certainly wasn't working for me. I had to follow my own tag line -- love your space, design your life; and by space, I needed to not only love my physical space, but also my mental space. I was doing too much but not doing any of it well; not because I couldn't but because it wasn't truly me. Once I began to be more honest with myself, my vision started to become clearer and more fleshed out.
I resumed designing and taking on projects, but in a way that made more sense for me and for my lifestyle. This new "honesty" began to reflect in my projects and resonated with clients as well. Now after one whirlwind of a year, I am here, rebranding my business and launching my very first subscription box.
I'm excited for the journey ahead because I'm defining my path in a way that feels good versus a way that simply looks good -- the irony. Thank you to all of you who have been along on this ride with me and I can't wait to shar this adulting adventure with you all.