Note: This article was originally written in 2017 as part of a “Pulse Check” series on the blog where I would check the pulse of my business & self-reflect. The post was never published…until now. Updates have been made for relevancy & timeliness.

Fun Fact: There actually is a Melissa in Baked by Melissa!

After getting fired from her advertising job, Melissa Ben-Ishay translated her passion for baking into now a highly successful cupcake business. Years later, while pregnant with her first child, she decided to expand to include gluten-free cupcakes. You know what Melissa is? Besides a genius whose mini cupcakes are on the sort list of things I miss about living in NYC?

She’s a MOMPRENEUR!

Some women know they want to work full time & will hire a nanny or get some other kind of outside help. Some women know they want to be a stay at home mom & housewife, and will homeschool until their babies are off to college. Then there are those of us who are somewhere in between — we want to work & have a thriving career, but we also want to be around for every moment of our mini’s lives… and we don’t want to have to choose.

That is what it means to be a mompreneur.

The mompreneur doesn’t have to choose because she has decided to work for herself from home with her little nugget. She makes her own hours & works at her own (and the baby’s) pace. Some would even say she “has it all”… depending on how you define “all”. But there's much more to this juggling act than some even realize…myself included.

Before I really dig into this whole mompreneur thing — especially after the past two years we’ve experienced with a pandemic — I have to emphasize that This isn't to take anything away from moms working outside the home or full time stay at home moms. motherhood is difficult no matter how you color it, and the mompreneur has decided she's going to be both.

I remember when I first discovered that this was really “a thing”, my life had completely changed. I knew I wasn't built to be a stay at home mom so I'd never had any delusions of being that kind of mom. After my maternity leave, I went back to work part time — 3 days a week — which for me, at the time, was just the right amount of mom time & work time; but even for just those 3 days I was missing the heck out of my new baby girl. Pus there was the added anxiety of always making sure childcare was covered since once a month my husband had military drills to report to. Then, 2 months before his leaving for active duty, I was laid off & saw no point in looking for another job just to struggle with childcare and all that stress. At that point I considered myself an accidental stay at home mom.. but far from a mompreneur.

I had a domain and a vision but i didn’t have a business.

The year was 2016. I began churning away at what would eventually become my e-design business, all while raising an infant by myself — good times... NOT! — but it was then that I realized my strengths (and weaknesses) & started to really visualize the kind of business I would want to create for myself & my family. Fast forward to having a conversation with my husband about possibly returning into the work force one day or really making this business my full time livelihood. Can I tell you... even the idea of going back to working for someone else, “punching a clock”, negotiating a pay rate — all of what comes with a "traditional" job — gave me such terrible anxiety. I began having legit panic attacks and in that moment, I decided to own the title of being mompreneur.

For a lot of people, the term "mompreneur" gives them some really icky feelings...

“Why does my status as a businesswoman have to be tethered to being a mom?”

For me it was — and still is — the opposite. My status as a businesswoman is BECAUSE I am a mom. The way I got into business and the entire why behind my business are all tied to being a mother; and not because of the freedom & flexibility that comes with entrepreneurship, but because of the person I became when I became a mother.

Balancing motherhood & a business have taught me a lot about myself, about business, and about relationships.

I learned when to say yes (and no) to opportunities.

It forced me to prioritize things that aligned with my vision versus just things that were a pretty idea — and trust me… I get A LOT of pretty ideas! It taught me discernment when it came to just about every & anything related to my biz, especially having to, now, wear so many different hats. Here are some helpful hints I picked up on along my journey to (and through) mompreneurship:

Word of mouth & social media can go a long way.

You’re not starting out with an advertising budget so you have to rely on these [still] very popular means of getting your brand out there. Yes, this is coming from someone who took a year off from social meadia, but that isn't because I don't know/appreciate its value. Gift your product/service to friends & family; create accounts with your brand name, logo, and tag line; and take advantage of relevant hashtags & groups! There are so many ways you can use to the social aspects of social media to get social with the right audiences to propel your business.

Depending on your state, you may be able to collect unemployment benefits while self employed.

Visit your state’s department of labor site for more information, because having some steady income will go a long way while your establishing your brand… especially if you’re a single parent with no additional household income. With that in mind, also find out what other resources — ie. grants & write offs — are available to you as a small business owner/entrepreneur… and so many are also catered to female entrepreneurs and/or women of color. The beginning is going to be tough, but the last thing you wanna make it more difficult by not being fully aware of what's available to you.

physically Separate work from home.

Yes, you’re working from home… and yes, you’re still a mom… but creating a home office or just carving out a dedicated work area, will give you a designated place to keep your materials & and focus with little distraction (because who are we kidding here... there will still be some distraction). Your home office may not be a space exclusively all your own — for example, my “office” is also my daughters playroom — but simply designating it as "for work" also makes shutting down easier. Once the “door” closes, I'm out of work mode. The end.

There may not be any "rules" but hold yourself accountable.

It's so easy to fall in love with not having someone to report to but after a while this can easily ruin your business if you're not keeping yourself in check. Not having to wear pants to work doesn't mean you don't have to create some semblance of order. Think about your why & stick to it. Create a schedule and TRY to make it a routine. As a mom, your schedule isn't your own, but establishing a routine for your everyday household tasks — laundry, cooking, dishes, etc. — can also help in alleviating some business stress and/or make your day feel a little less jam packed. Tell someone your goals and see how quickly they start to keep you on track. You may not have a boss to check in with or report, but you'd be surprised how quickly your spouse/bestie/whoever will pull on your ear & drag you back to focus.

Remember to give yourself a break!

Yes, this is about setting work hours and taking time off — hence having separate spaces — but it’s also about emotionally & mentally giving yourself a break. It's so easy to beat yourself up for not being a perfect mom and/or a perfect entrepreneur. No one is a “perfect” employee/r and no one is a “perfect” mom — those roles don’t exist! — and you’re doing it all so practice giving yourself grace. Step away, outsource tasks, and/or ask for help as needed. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! You're human. It won't always be perfect, but do your best. If your best looks like you letting your kid self entertain with the tv or missing a few blog posts, that's okay too. Giving yourself a break also means giving yourself grace to not always be put together.